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What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

08.06.2025 01:24

What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

Surprisingly, my crush laughed and said “aww!” She respected me more after. She came in the room, spoke to me with affection, and gave me food. She said goodbye with a smile as me and my mom left. I was very awkward around her. I wondered “why didn’t she get upset? I said alot of horrible things about her and her man. She should be angry. She should’ve been lecturing my mom about how wrong that is. Its a crush but what i said was reckless.”

Bad men are exciting and challenging. They make women feel insecure. Women will ask “does he love me? Does he not? Is he cheating? Is he serious?” Its not surprising nice men don’t get anywhere with women.

When i was a child like 6 years old, i had a crush on a woman. She was beautiful with shoulder length brown hair, black highlights, gold necklaces, red lipstick, fair skin, etc. Her name was Maricruz i think. I saw her with another man from afar. They were feeding each other. While i was watching, i was devastated. I was filled with jealousy. I hated them. I wanted to kill him. I felt if i had a gun on me in that moment, i was the type to point it at him then violently squeeze the trigger until i ran out of bullets. As i was on the way home in a van, i threw up my middle finger at random cars with hate. If he was the driver, i hoped he saw it. I wanted him to see it.

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When we got home, i cried alot in front of my mom. She tried to comfort, telling me that’s a part of life. I angrily told her how much i hated them, all the bad things i wanted to happen to them, etc. I think my mom got very jealous. She wasn’t going to let another woman take her baby boy from her. One night, we visited her at her apartment. She was nice. She let me sleep in her room while she spoke with my mom at the dinner table. My mom laughed as they began talking about me. My mom told her “my son really likes you..” and told her everything i said about her while giggling. As soon as she started speaking, i wanted to die on the spot. Words can’t describe the level of embarrassment and shock i had.

Nice men are dishonest. The ones who agree to be friends with women, hoping it turns into a relationship, are lying and manipulating women. That’s selfish. Those so called “nice men” are bad men in disguise.

“Bad” men are honest. They have the courage to express themselves even if they know women will get hurt by the truth. For example, one of my ex girlfriends essentially asked me “would you want to be happy in a relationship with another man?” I said “no..” She was shocked, laughed, and said “what kind of response is that?!?” We kissed.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

Nice men are not in tune with themselves. They’re usually not romantic or sexual. These men then wonder why bad men are the ones getting all the women. That’s because bad men do things nice men don’t do like say they just want sex. Its no surprise.

I realize now its because women love brutal honesty and passion which is rare. If i was a man when i told her that, i probably could’ve stole her from her man.

I was a very bad boy when i was very young. I don’t condone violence at all now but i had a violent reputation on the street. Girls liked me regardless. One loved my unpredictablity. I excited her.

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The other reason is nice men are boring. Nice men don’t have much personality other than niceness. When nice men say things like “my love! I’ll always be there for you!” and prove it, its too easy. Women will appreciate it but its not interesting. When a nice man showers a woman with gifts, compliments, etc. then she already knows how he feels about her. When a nice man is always available, its not challenging for women. The nice man likes her. What more is there to do and say?

Its not that women don’t want nice men and prefer bad men per say. Of course, women want nice men. The problem with nice men is the expectation women should be attracted to them ONLY because they’re nice. Here’s why only being a nice man will not attract women.

The main reason women fall for bad men is because abusive fathers. They influenced how women saw men when they were children. This is a problem.

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Nice men are not assertive. If a woman likes a man and he likes her but she says “let’s just be friends..”, he’ll agree to it for her. This is problematic. Nice men are essentially stepping aside when assertive men want their crushes and saying “I like this woman but don’t have the courage to tell her how i really feel so i hope she’ll see me! Please! Take my crush!” Bad man after bad man will keep taking their crushes. Its no wonder why bad men are so successful with women while nice men aren’t.