What is the most unwatchable movie you have sat through?

And honestly, the way it was filmed felt like an amateur highschool project that just happened to score a couple big names. I hate to crap on someone else's work, I really do, but it's just not good. It's really not hard to believe you never heard of this movie, it's just that unmentionable. So unmentionable, that Wikipedia only has a plot summary instead of the usual synopsis other movies have on there. To demonstrate how bad that sounds, the abomination known as Freddy Got Fingered has a full detailed synopsis…

However irredeemable it is, I still enjoyed the experience just watching something with my county's scenery in it.

So here's the deal. One day in elementary school many years ago, my music teacher was giving us some history of our town. I don't quite remember the prompt that started this discussion, all I really remember is him mentioning a very cool fact that took me by surprise; a movie was filmed in our town!!!

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Imagine if you will, a full 80 min porno. Not the average one, but the kind that tries to weave in a full plot with characters, conflicts, but still has bland acting used as a means to move the story forward just to show more sex. That's practically what this movie was; a porno. It was dull, boring, and I felt cheated out of my time on earth. I don't even really like a lot of sex in movies personally. My problem with it is all to often it's portrayed very unnaturally and so unrealistically to the point I just get tired of seeing it. But that's all you get here. 20% Boring story, 80% gratuitous sex.

Heh….that would be a movie that I'm 98% sure none of you have ever heard of; Summer Heat.

The scene, however brief, was just so cool to see, because I knew the location. I recognized the church, the field behind it, and the trees. Kathy Bates herself was standing at a place I pass by regularly driving to work. Anthony Edwards (goose from top gun) was in my county. That is just so amazing to think about.

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So I watched, and immediately an opening narration mentions my hometown, Tarboro, by name, and I just got so excited reiterating to myself “I'm watching a movie made in my hometown!” Well even that piece of astonishing information couldn't possibly have made me enjoy this movie; we deserved better. It's been a year, I've only seen it once, don't think I will again. My memory isn't so fresh about what I saw, but I barely remembered anything about it when it was over anyway.

But please Hollywood, just make something better with my county.

And I'm thinking “Oh my gosh, how have I never heard about this? That is so cool!!!” Fast forward a decade later and the mention of that movie comes back to my memory. So I look it up, and found it on Blu-ray at Amazon. Before watching, I mentioned I bought the movie to my mom, and she told me that a scene was actually filmed at a church on a hill a mile away from my house. She recalled actually seeing the production when she was little.

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Summer Heat gets a summary.